Heart ❤ Vs rational 💭

Have you ever felt like you are surrounded by lots of people but then deep inside you feel empty and all alone? Well if you haven't I guess you are lucky. This type of emotion is definitely not healthy but sometimes you can't help but feel this way like the world has turned it's back on you. All your "friends" surround you everyday and looks like they really care for you but how many of them will notice your smile didn't reach your eyes, that you were not as involves as them and look at you and tell you "Hey, stop trying to act strong it's OK to be not OK sometimes" and not get decieves by the way you act like the way most people thought. There's always a different smile and it means different things. Friends would look at you smile and think that you are happy but the friends who care, who know you well enough, who can look through you lies and the fake appearance you try to portray to the world will look ant your smile and notice the difference. Those are the people who care. It's not easy to find people like that. You may think you've found them but the next moment, just like anyone who wasn't a true friend, that person will just turn there back at you and get decieves by the smile and the laughter.  Since when have we all lost the ability to listen to our heart,  since when have our rational take over every single step, since when have we lost the smile on our face? Though the process of growing up,  we've all changed. Stupid things that we did to follow our heart, taking a step at the time without worry and laugh whenever and where ever we want. We've lost them all. Now we look back at the things we believed as a child, some people will think it is naive and some gullible but no, this are the things that truly matters. When we were young, there we no expectations to be met, no aim,.no worries we followed our heart. This things may not be the smartest things we've done, but it made us, us. One day, we will all grow old and when we look back, do we want to see that our lives is always one with careful calculations everys step is taken with lots of caution and consideration. Or do we want to see a life full or adventure? We may fall and get hurt but it's OK.  Well just have to stand up and start or journey again. I've never said that this path is going to be easy, but what I can promise you is, at the end of this path, there is no regrets there is no "if"s and not "but"s you will look back and smile and how crazy you were but I bet you, you are not going to regret it.

Drama

Life won't be life without all the drama going on around you. My friend zone has always been small to avoid all kinds of drama which I absolutely hate. But even though I try to avoid as much I can, sometimes drama just come to you and catch you off guard. I've always wondered how someone with the looks of an angel can actually be a devil in disguise. I've always trusted her and with my personality no matter how much you make me angry, I would keep it to myself and tone it down to avoid confrontation and fights as I totally hate drama like I've told you. But then, don't u think that you could do that to me all you want and I won't fight back, because once you've grassed that line then boom! The relationship that I've tried to maintain will go all down the drain. I won't fight or talk I'll just ignore you for probably the rest of my life so once you've crossed that line you can basically say bye and not expect me to say sorry let's be friends again😔 and once I've made that decision, it's most likely not able to change unless I make and effort to befriend you again. But since befriending you a again means drama, it's likely that I wouldn't.  Drama are usually caused by attention seeker whom are so disgusting in my opinion. All they ever want is attention and they don't know that while doing that all they do is gain detest and hater so either way they don't get what they want.  I think some people are then pure stupid or ignorant to think you like then when you've shown so obviously that you hate them. I mean do you have a brain???? I hate you OK get a life and stop pestering me thanks. 😒😒

Time to say goodbye...

The year is coming to an end and since it's my second year this year, i means that I;m getting streamed into another class next year. The days left with my beloved classmates are really numbered and it's really makes me smile thinking that over the past two years we've grown so much, changed so much and got to know each other so well. But after all the relationship that were built up in the past two years we're getting separated. And let's be honest here, once you leave a class you'll just drift apart with the people you were once so close with. All the memories flashes back and hits you so hard. I've always wondered why they would always do this to us. Pull us strangers together, make us bond and develop deep feeling and attachment to them like their an important part of our lives that we can't leave without and ten there they go"Hey, you know what, I'm gonna split you guys up." Perfect right.I know w could always say in touch and gather at our own free time but we all know that with homework, exams and all those activity to handle it is almost impossible to hangout together and those who really stay with you or you remember are mostly those in your graduating class. It's cruel to see how amazing relationship could be just gone as time goes by. Time should not do anything to ruin our relationship but rather it should brig us together. Time with my class used to be torturous they were so noisy and crazy i would always think what is wrong with them and lessons would go on and on i thought it would never end. But now as i prepare to leave my class, i start to wonder why haven't I cherish the moments with them.Be crazy, be free just for once. As we count the days down, everyone gets emotional and sad when someone mention about us leaving the class and going into separate paths but hey I'm going to wish them well, maybe cry( a lot) and then move on. Life keeps moving on and we know that some friends won't leave just like we are stuck together and some just drift apart. But aftr this two years, I;m grateful for them to be in my life, for the ones who are always there for me when I'm down, and making me smile on almost every school day. Life without them is definitely something i can't image but one the way I'll get over it and remember the good old days where we were still with one another. People may leave, but memories will always live in our mind and the feeling of our friendship will always stay in our heart. Though I've never really say it out but i really really like my class they are like my family now. A place where I can be true and myself and the people I don't have to act in font and the ones that know my ugliest scars and most embarrassing moments. I believe on my  way home, the MRT has definitely heard more sincere and true word then the social media where everyone just acts in a certain way because its "cool" to do it.  I'm really grateful for you hearing my rants and we'll always laugh together and judge people together. Although I don't think you'll see this by really thank you and i really hope that we'll be in the same class next year. Love you lotssssss!!!! Believe it or not, my secondary school life is wonderful because of you. All of you. May god be nice to us and let our relationship last a very very very long time. perhaps till the day we are all with grey hair, walking with a walking sticks. And at that time, we'll be laughing while remembering our good old days together as a class. Till then keep in touch, okay? Remember me cause I'll remember you  till the day i have lot all my memories and maybe evn till then i'll look at the photographs and smile and how we look like when we were together.

I'll say goodbye to you but also see you again. I really hope to see you again so can you promise me you will?